


Toil and Trouble Indeed

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M, Ridiculous, Semi-Public Sex, blowjob, terrible interpretations of Shakespeare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 23:17:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20366743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: Sonny and Rafael get free tickets to a show, and it's bad. Whatever shall they do to pass the time.





	Toil and Trouble Indeed

Sonny walks into Rafael's office with a coffee and a file folder in one hand and holds up two slips of paper in his other that Rafael immediately recognizes as comps for some off-off-off Broadway production of something one of the coffee cart baristas must be in. "Do I even want to know?"

Sonny grins. "_Macbeth_," he says. 

"Good _Macbeth_ or something like that interpretative dance _Hamlet_ you made me sit through?"

"I've been promised it's classic _Macbeth_ with some modern tweaks," Sonny says, glancing at the tickets. "Which means it's probably only halfway terrible. Also don't pretend like I made you sit through that _Hamlet_. I offered to fake a groin pull, and you said it would be rude."

"I said it would be bad business," Rafael replies. "Do you know the kind of deal those kids give me on anything I order? If we don't show up, they might revoke it."

"Oh, no," Sonny says, "You'll have to scrounge for change in the couch cushions to pay for your Americanos with a double shot."

Rafael can't help his smile. "Don't be an asshole. I've finally taught them how to make a proper Cuban coffee, and I'm not in the mood to have that spoiled."

"Well, guess we're signing up for toil and trouble then."

"Get out of my office with your cliches."

Sonny laughs and leans over Rafael's desk. Rafael meets him halfway for the kiss. Sonny taps him on the chest with the file folder. "Fin's case notes, as you requested, and your _fourth_ Americano with a double shot today."

"Fucking tattletales," Rafael mutters. He kisses Sonny's chin when Sonny laughs, then takes his coffee from Sonny's hand. "See you at home."

"Love you," Sonny says, sneaking one last kiss to Rafael's cheek.

"Love you, too."

*

The _Macbeth_ performance is three nights later in a surprisingly roomy theater that doesn't seem like a place you'd get mugged.

"This is a step up," Rafael says. The last theater they'd been to for a barista's show had been in the basement of a dive bar, and while Rafael had no problem with the exact location, the brawl that had broken out upstairs when they were a third of the way through the first act hadn't really added to the ambiance. 

"Yeah, I like it," Sonny replies. Their tickets are general seating, so Sonny leads them into the back third of the theater and chooses two seats in the middle of the row. He stretches his arm along the back of Rafael's seat and glances at the stage as someone opens the curtains. "Oh, no," he says quietly.

Rafael looks up from the program. "What?" He follows Sonny's line of sight. "Oh, shit," he says.

Hanging from the rafters on fishing line so it appears to be floating is not a dagger to set the mood before the show goes on, but a machine gun. And it's gold. 

*

The 'few modern twists' that Sonny had been promised by the barista are a lie. What's on stage instead is some director's vision of _Macbeth_ by way of _Scarface_ meeting _Breaking Bad_, and excruciating doesn't even begin to cover it.

"Now I understand why he was handing out comps," Sonny mutters to Rafael twenty minutes into the show. The three witches are boiling their potion in a meth lab, and Lady Macbeth is clearly meant to be a prostitute.

"Now I understand why the theater is mostly empty," Rafael replies.

They watch in horrified silence for another ten minutes, then Rafael turns to Sonny. "I will blow you right here, right now, if you can fake sick so we can leave at intermission."

Sonny snorts quietly, not that he needs to. Every single acting is yelling their lines _and_ wearing microphones. "Right," he says. "I'm sure."

"Open your pants," Rafael says.

Sonny looks away from the stage and meets Rafael's arch look. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sonny bites his lip, considering. It'd distract them both from the terrible show, and the theater's empty enough there's no one sitting anywhere near them. "Okay," he says and reaches for his belt. He's not going to pretend like he hasn't whispered semi-public sex fantasties in Rafael's ear while they're fucking some nights, and as long as it's on offer, why not.

Rafael turns back towards the stage, but he drops a hand high on the inside of Sonny's thigh as Sonny undoes his slacks. As soon as the zip is down, Rafael is cupping him, massaging lightly with his fingertips as Sonny gets hard in his hand.

Sonny tips his head towards Rafael, trying to keep his hips still as Rafael adds a bit more pressure with his palm. "What about you?"

"Worry about me, later," Rafael replies. He turns and presses a quick kiss to Sonny's mouth. "This is your fantasy, anyway."

Sonny breathes out shakily as Rafael shifts in his seat so he's turned as close to Sonny as possible. He watches Rafael slide a hand into his underwear and pull out his dick. 

"Watch the show," Rafael murmurs with a smile as he leans down to take Sonny in his mouth.

"I am," Sonny hisses as Rafael starts to suck. He cups the back of Rafael's head, careful not to jostle him. Already so hard he hurts because this is actually happening. Rafael is leaning over him and sucking his dick while an absolutely terrible play occurs in front of him, and even if the play was passable, Sonny's still sure he'd rather stare at his hand on the back of Rafael's head than anywhere else. 

Rafael sucks hard and fast, occasionally making a sloppy wet sound as his suction slips. Each time, Sonny looks around the theater, certain they've been heard. But the actors keeps yelling into their mikes, and then a gun battle with horrendous fake machine gun noises breaks out, so when Sonny whines in the back of his throat and lifts off his seat as he starts to come, he's certain no one's noticed. 

Rafael licks him clean then tucks him back into his slacks. He meets Sonny's eyes and gives him a quick smile before very deliberately licking his bottom lip like he's savoring a final taste. "How are you feeling?" Rafael asks in his ear, beautifully smug.

"I'm breaking out in a sweat," Sonny replies. "Think I might be coming down with something."

"Oh, no," Rafael says. "I guess we'll need to leave early."

"Maybe it'll pass once we're home, and the whole night won't be wasted," Sonny says. 

Rafael nips at his ear. "Oh, it won't be wasted," he says, and the quiet, filthy chuckle in Sonny's ear is the best sound in the room.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the silliest thing I've written in a long time. Props to my husband who had numerous answers to the question, "What's the worst way to interpret _Macbeth_?"


End file.
